Willow Willow was valedictorian of her high school class. She wasn’t the most charismatic, and she wasn’t even the smartest. But she was the most driven, and she had her family’s encouragement to sit in the front row, ask questions in class, get help from her teachers after school, and hire tutors. In college, she was pre-med all the way. So what if she didn’t know the names of many people in the dining hall; the librarians knew her name. She made it through organic chemistry by the skin of her teeth, and that was good enough. Halfway through college, her mom was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. It was touch and go for a while, and Willow researched on her mom’s condition extensively to understand the medical reports and test results. She was her mother’s best support, spending long hours on the weekends discussing her mother’s care. Her mother entered remission after a year of invasive treatments, and Willow returned her focus to her studies. Medical school was a slog, but she kept pushing. She made it through and got her first pick of residencies—she was bound for gynecological oncology. Her mother’s cancer returned halfway through, and Willow reached out to experts in the field to better understand the suitability, success rates, and drawbacks of various treatments. Six months into Willow’s residency, her mother passed away. For the first time, work was not enough of a companion. Willow started a new research project—finding a boyfriend. She went on Hinge (not awesome), Bumble (that app was named well), OkCupid (worth the price), and was ready to give up when her synagogue hosted a speed dating event. Henry was the fourth person she met, and she instantly felt she had known him all her life. He was relaxed where she was anxious, flexible where she had to plan everything in advance. When they were together, she became a happier and more likeable person. She started to have friends, because he had friends who became their couple friends. Her life became the montage in the middle of a cheesy movie: drinks after work, brunches on Sundays, girls’ nights out, romantic birthdays. And best of all, Henry never complained when work went late or started early. If Willow had known this was how relationships went, she would have dated much sooner! Henry Henry’s teachers in high school gave him A’s and B’s, but reluctantly. They agreed that Henry was not living up to his potential, and that he enjoyed his classmates much more than his work. If only he would apply himself, they said, his natural leadership would improve the class experience for everyone. As it was, he was a distraction to his classmates and a pain in the *** for his teachers. Henry cared about their feedback as much as he cared about his schoolwork. Henry had many interests in college, none of them academic. He put a foosball table in his dorm room, and had a fridge specially sized to chill a keg. He spent his weekends either partying or foraging in the forests. He was a skilled mushroom hunter. His friends enjoyed the excitement of eating his mushroom souffles, which came with a soupçon of danger. Henry started selling real estate after college. A few weeks of haphazard study were enough for him to get his license. His natural affinity for numbers, combined with his easy charm, made it easy for him to get clients and close deals. His significant gym habit and carefully cultivated five o’clock-shadow didn’t hurt, either. Henry could not believe his luck when he met Willow. Wow, that woman was uptight. He played a game in his head on their dates. How quickly could he get her to start smiling? How long could he distract her from her watch? If she paid attention to the hour, their dates ended at 8:45 so she could be ready for the next day. It really worked for him that she had a promising career, and was determined to achieve high pay and high status. Henry didn’t care about going after those things himself, but they were perfect for having great vacations, with enough time and money in between for mushroom hunting and going out for drinks with the guys. He had plenty of friends to entertain him when Willow was working, and, if he was being completely honest, she was freakishly intense and he needed breaks from her. So, win-win-win! Henry and Willow Henry and Willow married after a whirlwind romance. Willow mapped out her rotations and career steps as she planned their family life. Fortunately, their two children arrived on schedule, and the pregnancies were textbook. Destiny was their first child, named in remembrance of Willow’s mother Deborah, and Samuel arrived two years later. Willow and Henry had always known Henry would take on more parenting responsibilities. They were not prepared for how hands-off Willow would be, and how devoted Henry would be as a stay-at-home dad. Henry fell in love with his children instantly, his connection to them orders of magnitude stronger than anything he had ever felt before. Henry gave up his realtor’s license and never looked back. When Willow was on call, Henry brought the children to the hospital cafeteria so that the kids could see their mom. He put the children in baby music classes, selected their preschools and elementary schools, paid the bills, and managed the house. The kids came to Henry for their scrapes, their hurt feelings, and their exciting new discoveries. Henry took pictures of the children regularly, and texted them to Willow so she could see what they were up to. Their Friday evening ritual was to enjoy a family meal, put the children to bed together, and relax while reviewing pictures of the children from the week. Henry was content to parent the children solo, free to do things in his own way and on his own schedule. The money was good enough that he could arrange for someone else to clean the house, and the family often ate dinner out of the grocery store deli. They hired out the yard work, and one year they even had a laundry service. Henry was a great vacation planner, and the family enjoyed a quarterly trip. If Willow couldn’t get away from work, Henry would take the kids on his own. Henry kept in regular contact with the other families in their PEPS groups, and he was the parent who organized play dates and family events once the children started school. Alison, another mom from school, was similarly inclined, and Henry and Alison were the unofficial event planners for the children’s schoolmates. Willow’s career progressed quickly, and she often felt sorry for her colleagues who were exhausted as they tried to be full-time parents and full-time oncologists. She would volunteer for extra committees that gave her more status and visibility, confident that Henry was taking excellent care of the children. After work, she sometimes went out with Henry and the kids on their endless trips to the zoo and the park, and sometimes she stayed home and enjoyed the quiet house. The children’s report cards delighted both parents: each child had lots of friends, and was a motivated learner. Destiny won the third-grade spelling bee, and Samuel was described as a natural caretaker of his classmates, looking out for the youngest and smallest in the group. Willow put the children’s report cards on the fridge, where she could admire them on her way out the door at 7 a.m. each morning. The montage in the cheesy movie ended abruptly one Friday. Willow had an unexpected afternoon free. She knew school ended at 3, and the children often enjoyed staying at the playground for an hour or two to start the weekend. She pulled into the school parking lot at 3:15, and hopped out of the car to look for her family. What she saw puzzled her. The children were there, but where was Henry? The children barely stopped their play to tell her that Alison’s nanny was watching them, and Daddy would be back in an hour. Willow sat on a park bench, and eventually Henry returned with Alison. Both looked slightly disheveled, and their expressions alarmed Willow. Were they grinning? Or grimacing? Or….